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Zelda K. Arcadia

Dungeon Crawl Reviews

May the dry husk I leave behind serve as a warning to my fellow bringers of light — there is nothing but doom for us in this clutch of shadow. Keep away. In these last moments of breath I am handed, of all absurdities, a survey of my experience here? 0 of 5 skulls, I rate. I curse this place and my own hubris.

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Invisible Ink

“The letter is immune to my Gem of Sight,” the thief added. “It just sat there, as blank as a hog’s conscience.”

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Wands

Wands are tricky business. Some spell slingers use them exclusively in casting, others only when they are feeling under the pall of an unmagical day or illness.

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Multiple Altars

“The downside,” the witch told the nothing that was sure to be listening, “with multiple altars is that you invariably lose them or forget what you’ve stored away.”

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The Great Balloon Chase

“Yes ma’am, and we need to talk to you about some unauthorized polymorphing of the mayor and his cabinet. I understand you turned them into an actual cabinet set.”

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Haunted House patch

Haunted House patch ($2.00)

Graceful ghosts lingering in empty rooms, absorbing secrets, radiating gloom.
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The Life of an Adventurer

May covered in small cuts, slime, and smelling like troll soup, grumbled softly. “Hey, I’m sorry I’m… I’m late and I’m gross… I’m, well, me. Hi.” Petal simply beamed happily in response.

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Sleeping Snakes

The lich knocked quietly on the door, letting himself in when he heard a quiet snore in reply.

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Water Hazard

Water Hazard

As in the mortal realm, important business partnerships in the Netherworld are often sealed over a game of golf. “Aim when the windmill is falling — Ah! Perfect!” (Well, mini golf.)

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The Monster’s Party

The Monster’s Party

The doorbell rang on the stylish, angled door and was almost immediately answered by a grinning lime-green giant wearing a purple suit. It was at once fashionably out of fashion and expertly tailored for his massive frame.

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Magic Out of Office Replies

You fool! I am in the full meditative state necessary to transcend the mortal coil! Or I am lost.

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