Dryad in the Produce Department

“What should we get Kelpie?” Strawberry, mermaid, asked her wife. The sun had just set and the couple prepared for a grocery store run.

“I could boil up a brew if you like?” Red Kelp, the aquatically named dryad, asked. The mermaid nodded enthusiastically, so the dryad rattled off ingredients as he browsed the pantry: bog water, banshee screams, blaqwort mushrooms, “And mermaid treats,” Strawberry said in a lowered voice, mimicking her wife. Flatly, Red Kelp repeated, “and mermaid treats.” Strawberry grinned.

The couple held hands as they walked up to the store’s entrance. Strawberry gently flicked her fish tail, propelling a magically suspended bubble of water.


Red Kelp pushed her shopping cart into the produce aisle, eyes alight. She immediately picked up three dragon heart melons and a bushel of pondscum peppers. “Look at these wizard fire oranges!” she gasped, “and ghostly gut pumpkins? At this time of year?!” She smelled them to check the ripeness and closed her eyes happily.

Strawberry shared her wife’s enthusiasm but lacked her knowledge of produce and so happily accepted what was offered, sniffing and thumping in tests without expectation for results, saying “maybe a few more for later?” when asked an opinion on quantities to buy. Always a good answer.

The gauntlet passed, the rest of the shopping trip went fairly quickly. Strawberry chatted with the patron behind them at the checkout line while Red idly browsed magazine covers. She settled on Good Abyss Keeping for its promise of 13 poisons to broaden your palate! and added it to their order.

“I think we’re going to need to hire a dragon to get this home, I’m sorry, love,” Red said sheepishly, eying the plethora of vegetables, fruits, and mushrooms that were on sale but definitely not on their list. “Don’t be,” Strawberry replied and kissed her wife’s cheek.

A dragon was indeed needed. Hired and loaded up with tote bags of grocery goodness, the great beast launched itself in the air with a single flap of its mighty wings.

Red Kelp helped Strawberry into their scooter’s sidecar and then got onto it herself. Red started the engine and Strawberry browsed the magazine impulse purchase, reading aloud choice quips and describing silly ads.

Sleepy Undead greeting card

Sleepy Undead greeting card ($1.50)

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