Ghosts & Haunted Houses

Atticus took a deep breath before inserting the skeleton key into the wrought iron door.

“Three… two…”

Turn, click, cre-e-e-e-a-a-a— “I’m hooooooAHHHAHAHA!!!” —a-a-a-a-k-k.

The ghosts tackled him as soon as the door was open more than a crack. Laughter rang through the hall as they all began catching him up on the latest gossip, all at once, each demanding his full attention.

Some thoughts about living in a haunted home:

  • Make your bed to tuck in the ghost that sneaks in after you leave. Keeps them warm and toasty.
  • Doorbells go “ding-dong” to announce your arrival in both this world and the others.
  • Yawning lets your inner ghost smell the outside air.
  • Water takes longer to boil when you watch it because it is shy about undressing into steam. Look away, give it some privacy!
  • Shadows cast by streetlights at night are longer because they are stretching. They sleep at night and you’ve woken them up. It isn’t a problem at all, they are just tired.
  • Your keys go missing because a goblin is borrowing your car. They drive really, really fast, but are surprisingly safe about it.

Want to spoil your ghosts? Try these upgrades:

  • Spiderwebs made of silver string.
  • Grave dirt imported from far away lands.
  • Especially old, dry tomb dust on display.
  • Gilded grave digging tools.
  • Silky robes made from coffin linings in which to lounge in.
  • A widow’s walk, on which to mourn from, cut down from a rival’s home and installed around your roof.
I Have a Lot of Feelings greeting card

I Have a Lot of Feelings greeting card ($1.50)

A book broke your heart, why should you suffer alone?!
View In Store