Atticus vs. the Council

… find you guilty of improper behavior. We expect your answer to these charges at the High Tide Reception next month during the full moon. Yours in evil…”

The lich finished reading the letter of complaint as Atticus popped its neck into place, relieving a tremendous and uncomfortable pressure. “This note, Atticus! I can’t believe they sent this!”

“Spoil? Monsters?” Atticus mumbled to himself, repeating a passage.

“This is perfect, Atty!” a lake nymph cooed the next morning as the villain finished shampooing, deep conditioning, and styling her hair. He tied it back into two buns, using strands of kelp he had found in a far away sea. The unusual coloring complimented the nymph’s hairstyle and outfit perfectly.

“You seem a bit distracted, are you alright?” a forest spirit asked that afternoon as Atticus helped her gather autumnal leaves, sorting them by shape and color into organized piles. “Don’t eat those,” he chided gently after confessing his troubles, “or at least don’t eat all of them, we need a good blend if you want me to finish up these leaf crowns.”

“Do I spoil monsters?” Atticus asked an undead waitress as she set down a plate that night. He hadn’t specified his order, he didn’t need to. Waffles, buttermilk, ectoplasm on the side, slightly overcooked. Coffee, void. Side of rotten fruit. Root beer float, grave dust flavor, as dessert, but only after his meal was finished and he had reached the second page of his newspaper. “Yes,” the waitress kissed his cheek, “and we spoil you, too.”

“It is a good thing, Atty,” a mermaid chimed the next morning as she and the villain watched the sun rise and various ships pull into the port. She handed him a storm in a bottle. “Are you a neutral party or do you work to serve monstrous interests?” She eyed the council’s ship with open hatred.

“I’ve been serving monstrous interests my entire life.”

“And why is spoiling us bad, anyway? Have you needs we are not meeting? Do we not love you as you love us?” The mermaid gently stroked his stubbled cheek.

The villain smiled, opened the bottle, and unleashed the maelstrom on the port. He laid his head on the mermaid’s shoulder and together they watched the destruction unfold.