Villainy Policies

(Please note: If you need help with an order, please contact us.)

We would never purport to be a unifying force for all that is evil, dark, and wicked. Partially because this is hubris, and partially because, frankly, we do not care for sharp limits and inflexible definitions — once you say “this is evil and that is not,” you put yourself in a foolish, unnecessary, position. We are a supplier of doom and doomsday accessories, we serve the plutonic darkness of the netherworld. This is enough to fill our cold, black hearts with dread and excitement.

 

“Can I be nice and evil? Do I have to be ‘destroy the world’ evil?”

Everyone is so quick to equate “black heart must conquer/destroy the world,” and we are tired of the exclusivity of this trope. We demand a more sophisticated and broader spectrum of evil, and feel you should too. World domination and outright destruction is a fine, time-honored career, but it certainly is not the only villainous path.

We do not judge or measure the blackness in a person or creature’s heart. All are welcome to stay as long as they are comfortable.

 

Religion and politics

Evil Supply Co. is not affiliated with any religious or political organization. We will not knowingly satirize any such structure, aside politicians in general, as they are (with limited exception) terrible.

 

Conflicting sides, super heroes, and neutral parties purchasing our wares

We offer our wares to a full range of temperaments and alignments. A lot of heroic figures do business with us to defeat other villains, which leads to tremendous hilarious and occasionally awkward situations. To put it bluntly, however, we are on our own side first and make no apologies for this self-serving attitude.

We maintain an open door policy when it comes to our wares — we have to. If we discriminate, where does it end? One villain over another? One minion union versus another henchman guild? We are explicitly clear about this fact with every new client who comes to our door.

 

Evil Supply Co. business model 

Neutral locations

Per longstanding and unbreakable tradition, the following locations are considered neutral territory for all villainous operations:

  • Libraries
  • Book stores
  • Greasy diners
  • Coffee shops

Any villain that breaks with this custom will be immediately and permanently barred from ever doing business with Evil Supply Co. in the future — and depending on the nature of the offense, we might use time travel to rescind previous dealings.

 

Serial killers

We will never, under any circumstances, work with any serial killer’s name, image, or story, real or fictional.