The Burglar Is Running Late

Petal, orc, lit a candle. Then another and another and so on until her plush, floral-filled home layered the  scents — a cooking roast, fresh ghostkiss tulips, potatoes, candles, mushrooms, and baking softrock bread. Petal set her dining table with beautiful dishes, then lit two more tapers, casting the small room in a romantic, flickering light.

On the other side of the Netherworld, May, goblin, snarled with a flash of teeth. Her short sword clashed with her opponent’s, a city guard, as the two battled atop the roof of one of the city’s finest homes. Thief versus constable! Law versus crime! Chaos versus order!

At home, Petal opened the oven door and pulled the roast partially out. She dipped a brush into the drippings and basted carefully, deciding to give it a bit longer before rotating.

The clocktower announced the time and May froze — “I’m going to be late!” she shouted. The guard paused her assault. “Late for what?”

“My date! My girlfriend is making this huge, beautiful meal!” May shouted with agitation building on every word.

“Why are you here?!” the guard retorted with equal anxiety and volume.

“I didn’t know you would catch me burglarizing! I wanted to steal some earrings for her!”

The guard sheathed her sword and grabbed May by the hand. “We have to go. Right now.”

At her vanity, Petal applied purple lipstick. She had chosen a dress that complimented her muscular frame and whose neckline would distract just enough. Tilting her head in thought, she picked a pendant, one May had given her a few months ago.

The guard pounded heavily on a door with her fist. A swathed gentleman opened it, hair askew and eyes wild, he clutched his robe closed over his heart. “Yes! Yes officer, th-that is the thie-e-e-”

“Emergency!” the guard interrupted! “She has a date! Girlfriend making a roast! Running late!”

As if electrified with a bolt of lightning, the wizard reared back and assessed the situation with a professional’s calculating eye. “Suit or dress? I have honeysuckle perfume that could turn dragonfire into spring water and a Clean Scrub spell that is a bit unpleasant but very quick.” He grabbed the guard’s and the gobin’s hands, pulling them into his tower.

Petal sashayed to her front door, pausing at a mirror to verify her makeup was perfect. She kissed at the air in celebration of her beauty. She opened the door to reveal a clean and dashing May, in a crisp blue violet suit, holding a bouquet of sugarflowers.

Petal mentally snarled in excitement as she greeted May with a kiss.

Gloomy & Gorgeous patch

Gloomy & Gorgeous patch ($2.00)

Being gloomy and gorgeous are not mutually exclusive... far from it, they often go hand and claw together.
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