Villainy insurance is one of the many services Evil Supply Co. provides professional villains in the Netherworld. Keeping the wicked protected ensures a darker tomorrow for us all. Policies include:
Prior Global Destruction
So many want to destroy the world, creating significant financial unrest. This policy will help your investors sleep easier knowing, should your plans be usurped, not all is lost. Evil Supply Co. will cover the damages to your portfolio.
When the lead villain is an obstacle in the path of progression, the temptation for your henching crew to remove them from power is mighty. Should this happen to you, we will avenge you. Purchase our Necromancy Claws Clause and we will bring you back from the dead as well!
Hero Hangs Up Their Cape
To effectively destroy a hero, large amounts of time and effort are necessary. Plans are made, spells developed, giant robots built and tested and then reprogrammed because they run amock. So what would happen if your opponent… simply… gives up? Gets a mundane job, maybe a stock portfolio? Goes on a vacation, has an existential realization that “saving the world” isn’t for them anymore? Without a backup plan, you’d be in terrible shape. We’ve seen this sort of thing before, we are here for you.
WHY DO WE HAVE THIS BUTTON
The inclusion of a “self destruct” button is controversial— you wouldn’t want your carefully crafted lair to fall into an enemy’s hands should you lose, but the inclusion of such a device gives them the ultimate weapon. The choice is forever yours. Should your needs demand this doomsday contingency, we can help protect your surviving assets and then help you rebuild.
Killer robots are prime targets for cyberheroes. Encrypt your software, keep guards on your hardware, lock your WiFi, and use strong, unique passwords. Turn off your robots when they are not in use to save energy and add an extra layer of protection. Insure against the unexpected and unplannable.
Providing quality health care for your hench crew is critical for an effective villainy strategy. Unhealthy minions, and healthy minions not confident in the ability to get care as necessary, cannot do their jobs effectively. Plus, they will be miserable! A failure to serve the needs of your crew as they serve your needs will destroy you as effectively as any enemy. In Hollywood, the villains always treat their minions terribly, they kill them for the slightest infraction, and yet still wonder why they are constantly being betrayed. Fascinating.