Perfect Pizza Toppings

While having lunch with the gorgon Embers J. Lapilli at her pizzeria, Pyroclastic, we got to talking about the wide variety of clientele that come in through the door — or through the floor, depending on the time of day. Pyroclastic has a subterranean entrance to better serve light-sensitive undead customers.

Vampires: “No garlic, lots of sauce. Extra cheese, as many kinds as we have. Top with unwashed mushrooms! Many apparently enjoy the earthy taste. Occasionally they request coffee grounds, too.”

Mermaids: “Sausage and bell peppers. We make a special dough with sea water for ‘em and they say it makes ‘em feel right at home.”

Earth elementals: “We call it ‘mud pie!’ Bits of gravel sprinkled into a thin mud sauce served on a crust of sod. Dandelions or milkweed are common requests, though some ‘em prefer thistles.”

Dragons: “Oh yeah! Surprising I know, but we get a lot of ‘em. Some shape shift down in size and eat at a table, but the young ‘uns, who haven’t mastered that spell? Well, we have a knoll out in the back behind the shop. They lay ‘round up there. Whatever their size, we ask ‘em for some notice as they tend to eat about a dozen pizzas at a time — each!”

Water Nymphs: “Dragonflies and sea slime. Lotssah sea slime.”

Robots Who Have Become Sentient and Wish to be Social: “They always try to flirt with our pizza oven and I have to shoo them away. We fix ‘em up with some circuit boards and cheese-covered bolts. No one goes hungry at Pyroclastic.”

Bad Luck for Sale patch

Bad Luck for Sale patch ($4.00)

"Change your luck, for the worse!"
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