I am your weird relative now.

If you have a rough holiday, I’m your weird relative now. Pass whatever is being served, take this handful of candy and don’t tell anyone. You are all my favorite. Don’t tell anyone that either, but I’m not sure it is a secret.

Stay in school if that is where you belong, and if not, darkness knows plenty of people have found wonder and comfort without it.

If you aren’t sure, then let’s take this holiday. Are you doing what you want to do, or what you think people want you to want to do? If you aren’t sure, try job shadowing. Maybe even take a job as a shadow. The pay is light but you’ll have a grand time.

If you’re not in a relationship and want to be in one, shyness and small notes help break the ice to that quirky cutie you’re eying. If there isn’t anyone catching your beams, I highly encourage dancing a little in a coffee shop line or bookstore.

You know that awkward “…is that… on purpose?…” dance I do? Highly enjoyable. Completely and utterly formless and terrible and full of comedic value. You’ll catch someone’s attention.

If your heart is broken, some sad music and letting them go (no, let them go yes actually let them go) will help.

Let’s tell ghost stories. Let’s talk monster stories.

Did I tell you about the time I kissed a mermaid? No not that one. The other one no not that one okay I’ve kissed a lot of mermaids, the point is, life is long and beautiful. Be honest with people and if they aren’t honest with you, they aren’t worth their time.

Not everyone knows what they want – if you’re in that spot, be honest about that too.

The meal is over and it is time to sit on a roof top or in a tree or in a field and gaze at the moon. Did I tell you about the time I went to the moon? She picked me up with a hand the size of the sky and set me down. At once I was standing on the rock flesh of one of the biggest monsters the world has ever known and dancing with a woman as mysterious as creation itself. No not my normal dance, she lead, and it was marvelous. I put my head on her shoulder and she whispered to me the secrets of all the universe. I’d tell you, too, but then they wouldn’t be secrets. Then she pinched me on my well you get the picture.

I’m proud of you kiddo.

I’ve been around a long time and I’ve seen many a strange thing. I can say, honestly, completely, and confidently that you’re going to do just fine.

Time for desserts and mysteries.