Finding the Mushrooms

Penny P. Post, vampire, whistled and sang to herself as she wandered through Autumn’s Lost Wood. “One for you,” she plucked a zombie tooth mushroom, a deadly fungus known for its earthy taste and firm texture. “Two for me!” She plucked two more— eating one instantly and depositing the others in a purse shaped like a fried egg.

Penny continued through the magical forest, idly chatting with the ghosts she encountered. Her stomach rumbled, so absentmindedly she ate her second zombie mushroom and, about ten minutes later, ate the one destined for Creepy Crepes, a diner. This is how the night went: Pick up a few lichen, eat most. Chat with a few monsters, share some interesting herbs. Find a haunted tree, eat some of its poisonous flowers. The moon, beautiful and bright, swam along the sky, a perfect dining companion.


When you suddenly realize you’re supposed to be harvesting mushrooms. Not eating a few… okay, all.

Penny’s pocket scrying mirror called out. “Oh grave dust,” she swore quietly as time suddenly caught up to her. “Hel-looo!” she cheerfully chirped out as she tapped the mirror.

“Heya honey juuust checking in. Did you find everything on the list?” the voice in the mirror, Bea from Creepy Crepes, rang out. “Suns goin’ to be up soon, got worried over ya.”

“Oh, no, yeah! Just wrapping up here, will be back soon!”

“Thaaaaank-ya sweet bat-ling!” WHRRP The mirror went dark. Penny rummaged in her purse and found it empty. “I’m so, so screwed.” She flicked her fingers and browsed the mirror’s contacts, looking for someone marked available — Sophie! Sweet salt water taffy, the night yet might be saved! Penny pressed the mirror and opened the message menu. Hey lady, no big deal, but minor emergency. Are you busy? Penny tapped out.

What happened?! the reply came back immediately. Where are you? I’m there. Where am I going? I’ll bring my ax. I’ll bring two axes.

No no sorry! Penny blurted back in the message. I’m doing a favor for Crepes but I got distracted and hungry and I kinda ate everything I was harvesting. Can you help me forage? I’ve got until sunup.

Yes. Followed by a few minutes of annoyed silence. But you are buying me breakfast and you owe me big. Now what kind of snacks do you want me to bring? I’ll be there in 5, let’s do this.

Netherworld Post logo black shirt

Netherworld Post logo black shirt ($24.50)

The Netherworld Post delivers cards, letters, and parcels all across the dark universe.
View In Store