Five Conversations Happening Right Now

“Well this has certainly been a fox paws on my part.”

“Wait, did you say fox paws?”

“Yes… a tiny mistake?”

“…Atticus, it’s faux pas.”

“I wasn’t an enemy of your father. Never met him. Now yer granddaddy was a son-of-a-bitch.”

“…no, not foe pa. Faux pas.”

“…alright then.”

“This needs more ghosts and bats.”

“This is a restaurant.”

“I stand by my critique.”

“Paradox Possibly Helpline. Can I help you, sir?”

“Does magic defy the laws of physics? Or does it bend them in differing directions as the core principle of magic? Or do the laws of physics exist in a layer above our understanding and magic plays into that — and our limited grasp of both account for these seemingly unnatural phenomenon?! Damn it I WANT TO KNOW!!”

“Oh, you want our paradox help line. One moment, please.”

“Paradox help? That exists?”

“Do you have proof you exist?”

“I see.”

“Do you?”

“I have no idea.”

“Just a moment please.”

“I yield, sorcerer.

“You have defeated me in battle, and so I shall grant you the powers you seek. Choose your name of destiny and might. Choose carefully!”

“Root Beer!”


“…Beer, yes.”

“Root Beer the Destroyer of Worl—”

“Just Root Beer, thank you.”


“I would like to file a complaint, please.

“The heroes are many, the ghosts are few! And where are the owls?!”

“…sir, this is a convenience store.”

“Exactly! And I daresay this isn’t terribly convenient!”

Space Lawn Flamingo shirt (black)

Space Lawn Flamingo shirt (black) ($24.50)

There is more to this universe than conventional good taste. Make it big, bold, and colorful.
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